


kills my heart

by FableButt



Series: Sleepless [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Grief, M/M, Mentioned and Implied Major Character Death, blood mentions, but i didn't archive warn it for a reason, but it focuses on his family a lot too, cause him and lance don't even talk once in this fic, everyone is sad, keith-centic, superhero au, the klance is more just keith pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:26:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9223124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FableButt/pseuds/FableButt
Summary: In the comic books they always painted a superhero sacrificing themselves as the ultimate dedication.  No one ever mentions the pieces left behind for everyone else to pick up.Keith is the one left cleaning up the mess left over.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off my [own ideas](http://ancientnapdragon.tumblr.com/post/155456899374/restless-another-superhero-au) for this kind of au. i'll probably link more random stuff based around it on my tumblr sometime if anyone is interested. more in detail character stuff and what the actual plot for this is.
> 
> this is gunna be a collection of oneshots from various times in this universe. mostly its klance-centric, but stuff will focus on all the characters eventually.
> 
> the soundtrack for this oneshot, as well as where the title for both this oneshot and the series as a whole is from, is [Sleepless by Cazzette](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-sfFFnfO8g).

When Keith was twelve he was pretty sure he knew what the definition of shitty was. It was your parents being dead, being tossed from home to home, and living with the knowledge that no one in the world loved you or cared about you beyond the money you were worth.

When Keith grew older, when he as sixteen, his definition of shitty changed. It became the knowledge that you could help people but you were expected to sit and wait. Romelle was a hell of a woman and even if he was some super-powered badass now, he knew better than to cross his adopted mom. So he would sit and watch bad things happen, and he would rage on the inside because he could have prevented it. If only he was strong enough, he could make everything right.

The definition of 'shitty' for Keith changed again the day that Galaxy died.

It was a compounding of multiple facets that really pressed the word 'shitty' into a new and terrible diamond of loathing and pain. Later, when Pidge asked him what the fuck happened, Keith wasn't really sure how to answer them. The tears in their eyes had been burned away by the rage within them, seeking justice for a fallen friend. Snapshots played behind his eyes. The numbness of a broken arm, the spell of his powers shattered as his spear clattered to the ground. The 'no' screamed from his own lips, soundless in memory, as Haggar's cronies raised their guns. A blink, and they were firing but there was no feeling. Only Galaxy wrapped around him in a final embrace as his body was riddled with bullet-holes. He didn't even say goodbye.

"If only I had gotten there sooner!" Pidge had cried, tearing at their hair as snot and tears leaked down their face. In that moment they had looked more like the scared and confused child they had to have been before hardening their heart. Keith had remembered the vines breaking the floor of the warehouse only after the fact. It was hard to think of much beyond the coppery scent of the warm blood leaking into his armor at the time.

Keith sat in their hideout, with Pidge and Alchemist (his name was Hunk, apparently). Galaxy's body was in the next room. Alchemist was gone, somewhere else, anywhere else. The blood had dried to his skin. His earpiece was broken, breaking off contact with his mom and sisters. It crackled from time to time; another unpleasant sound to add to his misery. At least Hunk had bandaged him up before leaving. His arm still throbbed even as the skin worked overtime to knit itself back together.

Time passed. Keith wasn't sure how long as he sat on the beaten up couch. Pidge had cried themselves out, demanded answers that Keith couldn't give, then had went to a nest and network of computer monitors that could have put Romella's to shame. When Hunk returned, he didn't say anything to either of them. Tears just dripped down his face in a resigned way. The door creaked as he went into the side room that Galaxy was in.

"What-" Keith cut himself off. Cleared the scratch and gruffness out of his voice. Something shifted inside of him. It was bitter and unfulfilled. The com in his ear cracked again. "What was his name?"

The furious typing at the keyboards paused. One second, two, three-

"Lance."

Their voice shook. The typing started up again, slower this time. Waiting, maybe. Keith didn't say anything else. He didn't have anything else to say. He flexed his previous broken arm to test the progress of his healing. It still hurt. Hunk came back out with the bloody and hole filled suit that Galaxy, _Lance_ , had worn. Simple and sleek and black, perfect for sneaking in and out of buildings. The only splash of color was a bright blue insignia on the left knee and the dark stains.

The couch squeaked when Hunk sat down on the opposite end. His own disguise had been half shrugged off, revealing a young man that didn't look much older than Keith's nineteen. The suit sat between them. Hunk sniffed and wiped his face.

"What are we gunna tell his parents, man?" The other man's voice cracked. A fresh sob escaped his throat before Hunk could cover his mouth with his hand as if to stifle in. The clicking stopped again. Pidge half turned but didn't look at either of them, glaring instead at the door that Lance was behind.

"I'll do it." Keith didn't recognize his own voice until the other two set disbelieving stares at him. There was a quick flush of embarrassment even if Keith couldn't place why. He licked his chapped lips and regretted it when he tasted sweat and metal. "It's my fault so... I should be the one to do it."

Hunk looked like he was about to protest something, but Keith stood up. He took a few steps for the door. He didn't realize he was shaking until he placed his hand on the knob and saw the jitters under his skin.

"Val, you don't have to do this." It was Hunk. He sounded kind but something else was there.

".... Keith. It's Keith." He glanced back at them. Something unsaid went between the three. 'Rule number one,' Romella's voice echoed in the back of his mind. 'you never tell anyone your real name out there. You're Valkyrie now.'

The door closed behind him with a click. Before, the room might have been a game room of some sort. Shelves were lined with both work and pleasure, in the forms of books and maps and board games. A little tv was in the corner and some decades old game system was hooked up to it. In the middle of the room was a worn down pool table.

Galaxy was stretched out on the pool table. If not for the pallor of his skin and the blood crusted in the corners of his lips, he might have just looked to be asleep.

Hunk must have changed him earlier. He looked a lot smaller in the large army jacket pulled around his shoulders. It did a good of hiding the coils of well trained muscle. Without the plain mask on his face, he looked younger like Hunk had. Maybe his own age, too. A very handsome man.

Keith fisted the shard of his spear in his pocket. All it took was a little focus, a push of energy, and he was not Keith Kogane anymore. He was Valkyrie, superhero and one of the protectors of New Arus City. His arms slid under the bend of Lance's knees and back, pulled him close to his chest. The dead weight of the other man was still heavy even if he had trained for years.

The vague scent of cinnamon and salt reached his nose before it was overpowered by old blood.

"Mrs. McClain said she would meet you three streets down. There's an old park there." Pidge stared quietly at the phone in their hands. It was still lit up, the background what could have been a younger Pidge and their twin, smiling and happy. "I couldn't say.... why. I just told her Lance was in trouble."

They sounded defensive. Keith didn't blame them. He had taken this on himself, anyway. With a nod, he moved for the exit. Hunk pressed a few buttons when he was on some kind of lift. It raised him to street level, some grungy back alleyway. His coms crackled again, loud, and he could hear what might have been his oldest sister's voice.

The walk was quiet. The click of his silver boots was too loud on the pavement. The night was at the magical peak time when the air should have been alive with the wonders of darkness. The thrill of uncertainty and adventure. Instead it just felt like dead air around him. He didn't meet anyone when he made it into the park. Regular people knew better than to risk crossing someone like him.

The park was dilapidated at best. Graffitied statues and hints of trash and revelry. The streetlights flickered, but it didn't take long to find the rest of Lance's family. Under the shining glow of a dirty fountain, his mother stood stock and still as she waited. She was tall and willowy, much like Lance. Her spine was rigid and watchful, strong for her family. A man not much taller than herself and two boys who looked older than Lance were with her.

Mrs. McClain spotted him first. Keith wondered what he looked like. A figure coming from the darkness. If he was more like Joey, like his sister, he might have had some flowery language about being a herald angel of death. He saw Mrs. McClain break. The look of horror and anger and grief morph the worry lines on her brow.

Keith stood there, Valkyrie and not Keith, with a woman's dead son in his arms. He stopped a few feet before he got to them. No words said. Nothing needed to be said from the hard set of his jaw and the hesitance in his eyes. This was always the hardest part.

"My baby!" And she was on him, on Lance, half pulling her son out of his arms and holding his hands and face close to her chest. She cried hard and loud and unashamed. The other three men drew closer, unbelieving. Tears pooling in the corners of eyes. A son and younger brother gone.

"He died," Keith tried to keep his voice strong. When Lance was pulled from his grip and into the stricken grasp of his family. Valkyrie owned it to Galaxy. Keith owed it to Lance. "protecting me. Protecting the whole city. Your son is a hero." And Keith meant it, but they were empty words for a family wracked as they were. They wanted answers, they wanted blood; he could see it in their eyes.

Instead, Keith turned and he ran. He ran until he was far away from Lance's body. He ran until the magic of the relic faded. He ran until he had ducked into enough side streets and alleyways and was back home. He ran right into the startled and worried arms of his mother and father and sisters.

When Keith was there, he cried.

 

Everyone, of course, had a lot of questions for Keith. Joey and Romelle most of all. Thace was the only one who held them off. His dad made sure he was bathed, checked over and full of warm soup before sitting him down on the couch for his family to pick over. It felt nice, safe almost, for him to be wedged in the very middle of the couch. All four of his sisters were smushed into the three person couch, two on either side. Stray hands pet his still drying hair or rubbed circles on his back or just were a comfort in their weight.

Keith spilled everything that happened. It was slow at first, a small trickle as he tried to find words. Then the dam burst and he couldn't shut up. His eyes itched with unshed tears but he was beyond that now. He had to keep control.

The intel that a bomb was being built in that warehouse was just a decoy. It was a trap by Haggar to take him out. If Palette hadn't intercepted a transmission, hadn't thought enough about Keith to save him.... well, it would be him in the ground and the whole Society one mystical artifact lost. Galaxy stepped in to keep him safe and paid for it with his life.

"Hey Keithie," Kensay stretched over Cherish's lap, laying her head in his lap to stare up at him. She was the youngest of the five of them, the only one younger than Keith at fifteen. "how come you're so sad? People have died before, right?"

Keith knew deep down that she didn't mean anything by the question. It was true. One of the bad parts of being a superhero was that you couldn't always save everyone. Even with just being on the streets for two years had taught Keith that much. It still stung to hear the words. Any amount of comfort he was getting was cut off, and the press of bodies felt too close. Untangling his legs, Keith lifted Kensay's head before standing up.

"Keith!" Romelle called after him as he stomped up the stairs. He didn't slam his door, but Keith wanted to. Instead he threw himself into bed with his face in the pillow. The sounds of his mom, and possibly Lenora, chastising Kensay could be heard muffled through the floor.

The door clicked open a few minutes later. He tensed but didn't other wise move, waiting to see who this was and what they wanted. The bed dipped as whoever they were sat down. Warm fingers were being brushed through his hair, gently pulling tangles out.

"Keith." Joey. His oldest sister's voice was calm and easy, as if he hadn't come home bloody and Galaxy wasn't dead. The tension slowly drained from his body as her perfectly manicured nails scraped his scalp. "He was that one you had a crush on, wasn't he?" He tightened his grip on his pillow. Joey made a soft noise of heartbreak for him.

"Oh, baby..." Joey draped her thin frame over his back. The weight was nice as she moved to wrap her arms around his middle in the most piss poor excuse for a hug ever. She hummed a lullaby that he felt more than heard. Something shifted in him again, like it had earlier than night. Like before he had taken Lance's body to the other man's mother. He knew now it was a pit. It would swallow him up if he let it.

The feeling was... more. More than just a crush, like Joey had said. Keith didn't _love_ Lance. For all their bickering and arguing and pissing contests the last eight months, he still hadn't known Lance well enough to love him. But there was a nagging voice in his head that told him he could have. He could have loved Galaxy, or Lance McClain, or whatever his mind wanted to call him.

There was also a feeling of dissatisfaction mixed in there. For all the borderline flirting nothing was ever acted upon. Keith didn't feel like he had a real sense of closure with that. He didn't even know if Lance had liked him back or was just teasing him.

 

It was Lenora who helped Keith get ready for the funeral six days later. He was opposed to going, but Kensay tracked the whole event down herself to apologize to him. Keith didn't think he really needed it, he was the one who had freaked out over what was basically nothing, but Cherish was the one who mentioned that it would break her heart if he didn't go. His parents and Joey encouraged it, too. They hoped it might give him some form of closure. Lenora dropped him off at the church and promised to pick him up when it was over.

The service was lovely. Keith sat at the back. For such a large building, it was packed full of relatives and friends. Unlike with the press of bodies at home, this just made him feel claustrophobic. He stayed in the back and out of the way but still felt out of place the entire time. He could barely make out Hunk and Pidge in the front, just a row or two back. Mrs. Mcclain's sobbing echoed through the entire building. The casket was closed, but a blown up picture of Lance smiling like the sun was framed over top of it.

Keith's heart lurched.

The crowd thinned out when they moved to the graveyard. All was quiet as the body was buried, slowly. Again Keith stayed in the back, but he was positive that Pidge and Hunk caught his eyes at some point across the way. He had hoped the dark peacoat and dark red scarf around the lower half of his face would keep him hidden. Not many people got close enough to Valkyrie to get a good look at him, but you could never be too careful.

Either way, neither of them approached him. Instead, that was left to Mrs. McClain. When the service was over and Keith made off to disperse with the crowd, a hand gripped his forearm. Her face was more put together that night in the park. There was an certain hollowness in her eyes that only happened to parents who buried their kids.

"Did you know my son?" Her voice shook and her brows were knitted as she searched his face.

"Lance was my friend." Keith couldn't meet her eyes. The hand dropped from his arm. There was a few beats of silence and Keith glanced up. There was recognition there. Not many people got close enough to Valkyrie to get a good look. Mrs. McClain had and now she knew.

"I see." She swallowed hard. They both waited in a heavy silence for one of them to break. Keith did first.

"Lance helped a lot of people." Keith implored. He looked down into her blue eyes, a familiar color. There was resigned understanding there. Nodding, she backed away. He couldn't answer any of the questions she had.

"Be safe out there." Those were her final parting words as Keith left.

 

As much as Keith wanted to, he couldn't stay in his room forever. The night after the funeral he was back on the streets with a vengeance. If anyone knew that before he combed the city he would visit a still fresh grave, no one mentioned it. If anyone knew about Valkyrie laying fresh flowers on it every night they didn't say anything. If, maybe, a mourning mother was there occasionally and they would stand in silence for a while, it wasn't made a big deal of. That was Keith's business.

 

Breakfast exactly one week after the funeral was... normal. The night before had been calm enough. He had just stopped one mugging in process and it was pretty quiet. Thace was humming over the stove as his mom and sisters were chatting over pancakes and bacon. Keith and Cherish had been fork fighting over the last piece of bacon for a minute or two and everyone else had taken sides in their chanting over who would win. It was mostly for sport since Thace was frying more.

The pit was still there but it didn't hurt as much. Not as much as Keith had expected it to hurt. If he sat and thought about it too much it opened in his chest like a raw wound. Most mornings he just planned to crash and sleep all day so he could do another nightly run. If he wasn't conscious, then it wouldn't cross his mind. If he was busy patrolling the streets, he couldn't think about Lance. It was easy.

A loud, frantic knocking at the front door quieted everyone down quickly. No one ever stopped by this early. It was probably nothing, but with his line of work you could never be too careful. Standing, Romelle smoothed down her pink blouse before going to check who it was.

"Yes? How may I help you?" Keith's mom had the perfect suburban mom voice, which was great since that's where they lived. He could see her in his mind's eye, smiling pleasantly. No one expected the blond mother of five who clipped coupons to be an international assassin, after all. That's what always got them.

"Keith! We need to talk to Keith!" A chill permeated the air as soon as those words were spoken. Keith didn't _have_ friends. No one _needed_ to talk to him. Ever. Not many people outside of the Society or the neighborhood knew he even lived here. He exchanged a look with his sisters, with Thace.

Joey was already reaching for one of the guns taped under the kitchen table. His dad was moving the bacon off the stove and taking his knuckeduster-knife combo out of the ladle drawer.

Pidge was in the living room a second later, hair and eyes wild as they clung a laptop to their chest. Hunk was behind them, apologizing to Romelle for just barging in, that it was an emergency. Pidge spotted him through the open doorway from the living room and rushed into the dining room. Hunk followed. They had no more stepped through the threshold of the room that all his siblings were on their feet, guns of various shapes and sizes clicked and raised. Ready to strike.

"Oh shit!" Hunk raised his hands instantly and pressed his back against the wall by the door. Pidge blinked at them all with their mouth opened in a stunned disbelief.

"Holy fuck." They muttered to themselves. Instead of raising their arms, they clung to the laptop tighter. Hunk looked at Keith with puppy dog eyes, pleading to be let go. Or at least not die like this. Romelle come into the room a moment later, gun raised with everyone else.

"They're okay." When Keith said that, the tension dropped from the room almost instantly. Kensay sunk down into her seat and stole the last piece of bacon while she had the chance. It was like the air being let out of a balloon. One second they were a family of highly trained professionals ready to kill, the next they were your average, middle America, suburban family having breakfast.

"Holy fuck." Pidge repeated. A sort of impressed disbelief was still on their face as they watched the transformation. Then they snapped out of it and grabbed for Keith. "We have to show you something. It's important."

"Anything you can show my son, you can show us." Romelle smoothed down her blouse again, rehiding the gun, and moved a picture off the wall. A few presses of the buttons hidden underneath and the whole house was spy-proof. Pidge mouthed another 'Holy fuck.' as they sat down at the crowded dining room table. Hunk was still nervous but lingered behind them as they booted the laptop back up.

"Okay, so, we've got bad news, what could be good news, and some _seriously_ grody messed up bad news again." Hunk fidgeted some with his hands. "So, uh, you don't get to pick the order because it would be really confusing."

"Someone robbed Lance's grave last night." Pidge spoke up, turning the screen around. It was a small news story pulled up on one side, from some small time paper that had ran a story about it that morning. Beside it was various pictures that Hunk and Pidge had probably taken themselves, showing Lance's grave open. The casket was on it's side and looked to had been smashed open. Lance was gone.

White hot fury settled in Keith's gut and he stood with a jerky movement. His relic was in his hand and he was getting ready to push for that energy, to go out and strangle whoever had dared to do this himself. Hunk held up his hands.

"Wait wait wait! We were pissed off too, but there's more!" Hunk urged him. Lenora pulled Keith back down into his seat, but anger was still burning hot in his veins. He gripped the relic so hard his hand shook.

"After we found out, I got this weird email from someone called 'White Lion'. It didn't say anything and I couldn't trace it back to... anything. The file was encrypted and it's a video." Pidge continued as if Keith wasn't about to just jump up and run off. They clicked around some, showing the email in question and then pulled up the file. "This is... the good and the super bad news, I guess?"

They hit play. It was plain black and white footage, like from a security camera. It was outside, aimed at one street. The warehouse district, if Keith had to guess. He wasn't really sure what he was watching for, but then movement from the bottom left of the screen. Two bulky guys were carrying someone between them. Someone who looked maybe like they were drunk. Or....

"Is that Lance?" It was hard for Keith to tell, since it was from the back. He was pretty sure the man held between the other two had the same shaggy hair. They were also in a fine suit, which was unusual for that part of town for many different reasons. His eyes snapped from the video to Pidge and Hunk. By this time, the men had went down an alleyway and were off camera. "Why haven't you been out there, yet? Why aren't we going now?" His voice was harsh and he didn't care. Hunk winced. Keith was slowly rising from his seat again. He had always been more of a man of action than he was planning.

"It's not over yet." Pidge motioned back to the screen. "From what we can guess, the grave was robbed some time between three and four AM. This was about forty five minutes later. Nothing happens on the camera four about another hour." Pidge moved the cursor of the video ahead, bypassing that hour.

Keith glued his eyes back to the screen. As much as he wanted to go recover Lance's body, there was something more to this. Watching the seconds tick by was painful, but then movement again. From the alleyway that the men had went down with Lance.

Two people, arm in arm. A woman and a man. They stopped by the street right as a a black car pulled up. The man glanced up, straight at the camera. He scowled, a look that didn't fit on his face. Then he lifted his hand. The camera fizzled out a second later, for whatever reason, and the recording ended.

Lance. It had been Lance, alive and in the flesh. Somehow. Keith's head spun.

Lance was alive and he had been with Haggar.

**Author's Note:**

> keith's four sisters, from oldest to youngest, are josephine (joey), cherish, lenora and kensay. kensay is his only younger sister and the other three are older. they're all adopted. they could also all kick my ass. romelle is a loving but kind of emotionally distant mother. she wants her kids to be happy, but its hard cause she's also part of a whole secret society and has (basically) raised herself five child soldiers. thace is the more gentle parent, but he would totally stab you in the back if you tried to hurt his family.
> 
> _let keith have a family too 2k17_
> 
> [i'm always up to talk on my tumblr](http://ancientnapdragon.tumblr.com)


End file.
